Nothing But Iron: Talkin’ sMac by Guest Author Bruce Lagman, brother of C.A.S.W. January 7, 2008 Well, well, well, it looks as though we've got ourselves a little debate. Granted, I've never met Terry, so I won't liken him to an unkempt fat guy on TV carelessly promoting an inferior product like he did me. You know Mr. Hart, I have an older brother of similar width and girth who might take offense to your assumptions. He too is a "Mac" guy although more the McDonald's variety. For the record, I am a Mac guy. I almost named my children MAx and MACKenzie. For years, I dressed both of them in Oshkosh MACintosh clothing. Many years ago, my wife worked at a place called MacLand. My first computer was a Mac Plus and because of my wife's affiliation, I was given two external hard drives (a 10 MB and 30MB) and promised "virtually unlimited" storage. I have a brother named MAtt. I use MAC tools. I drive a MAC truck. My favorite conference is the Mid-American Conf. I still speak fluent Mac although I have to live in the PC world for now (perhaps Apple Max OS Leopard will free me?). There can be no debate when it comes to computers. Mac is a very attractive woman with high IQ and PC is a street walking hooker who showers infrequently... I suppose that makes Bill Gates a billionaire pimp. The debate between DirecTV and Dish Network can be approached in many different ways. I have chosen the hands on approach as I WAS a Dish Network customer for many years and now am a DirecTV user (crossed over to receive NFL Ticket) and have been for about 8 months. I don't believe Mr. Hart has used both technologies so I don't fault him entirely for his misguided/misinformed allegiance to DirecTV. Further, my reference to DirecTV "TIVO" was merely a universal reference designed to appeal to a broad audience or an audience of broads. I am quite aware that Direct TV no longer uses TIVO and hasn't in some time. I wonder if Mr. Hart is aware the reason for this separation was because Dish Network developed the first DVR technology they could brand themselves making TIVO all but obsolete ultimately paving the way for both companies to develop their own proprietary receivers?  (Click here  for more infomration on DVR technology.) As has always been the case, Directv was asleep at the wheel while Dish was looking for ways to improve. Are you also aware that according to JD Power and Associates, Dish Network is ranked #1 and DirecTV is #2?  (Click to read review .)  Dish Network is also less costly than DirecTV. Aside from the technological facts, Dish Network is just superior. I am a DirecTV customer and, more than ever, from where I sit... Dish Network is better in all aspects, except having no access to Sunday NFL Ticket. Here's an abbreviated log of my experiences with both providers. Dish Network Log (Previous 8 YEARS ending in 2007) No access to NFL Ticket Had to install 2nd dish after acquisition of Voom HD Network. Not one call to customer service in 8 years regarding service issue. Integration and DVR functions are seamless and wife-friendly. Remote control layout is smart and sensible. DirecTV Log (Previous 8 MONTHS ongoing) Initial Installation cost an extra 180.00 paid directly to DirecTV "authorized installer" for "items not considered normal". He was "authorized" to steal from me. I ordered 2 HR20-700 HD DVR receivers. Only one was delivered. The second receiver was back-ordered. Second HD DVR receiver they sent was older generation model HR10. According to DirecTV this model was prone to overheating, but they sent anyway? HR10 receiver frequently required resets (eerily similar to PC). After 5 phone calls to DirecTV they agreed to replace with newer receiver. Attempted to purchase a PPV event. Onscreen would not allow, said credit limit was low? Ordered it online instead and was charged a fee for doing so. New replacement receiver is now not receiving all HD signals unless I reset the receiver. I called DirecTV to get another replacement, but I haven't met the minimum number of complaints yet so I still have to keep resetting. Resetting a Directv with HD DVR takes approx 8 minutes or enough time to miss an important part of the Michigan v Florida Rose Bowl. Another subtle yet important fact: The Dish Remote compared to the DirecTV remote is like comparing a Mercedes to an Isuzu. I won't go as far as referring to Mr. Hart as Joe Isuzu, but the temptation is decidedly present. Did you know the Dish Network remote (though made in Mexico) is actually ergonomically engineered by a company in Sweden? Holding it in your palm is pleasant and as comfortable as shaking someone's hand. From its contoured and arched spine and rounded undercarriage to the insightful ridges on the remote's bottom that prevent slippage it is a remote built by smart people for smart people. In addition, the buttons you use most often are exactly where you need them and I could press them without relocating the remote in my hand or dropping it. The "guide" button is accurately located on the right side just above the "cancel" button and adjacent to the "recall" (channel return) button. It is a non-frills remote that doesn't go out of its way to impress, instead it is perfectly aligned with how humans believe things should work, thus it barely registers as impressive until it is replaced by something that sucks... Which brings us to the Directv remote. The Directv remote is made in China by a company called Shenzhen KSMEI Electronics Co., Ltd. This company is notorious for mass producing cheap remotes that lack any creative thought whatsoever. When you bought that $29.00 VCR, the remote that came inside the box was made by Shenzhen. The Directv remote is nearly 1" longer which, aside from impressing a few shallow women, is actually a bad thing. It weighs almost two ounces more than Dish N Remote making it clunky and unfriendly to hold. The shape is unattractive and almost exactly like a large stupid candy bar that you can't eat. This pedestrian remote is only happy sitting in one's hand and wants nothing to do with being held. Their is no contouring, no tapered body, just poor ergonomics - nothing that implies Directv cares. The "guide" button is mysteriously located on the opposite or left side of the remote making a maximum thumb stretch necessary every time you want to activate "guide". Further, the "PREV" (or channel return) button is ridiculously located at the bottom and right side of the remote along with the channel up/down button some 3.45 inches away from the guide button. So to activate "guide" and "PREV" or "Channel up/down" you must hold remote with two hands and reposition your activator hand all the way to the bottom or use two hands to complete this two button process. This makes as much sense as cardboard underwear. I have dropped this remote several times as I try to accomplish this task one-handed much like God intended. Further, the "mute" button is also located on the bottom section of the remote making it unrealistic to use. There are many other gaffes in the order of functionality that will make you shake your head. For example: In utilizing the DVR feature in Directv, when you press the "replay" button for something you may have missed, it skips backwards approx 7 seconds, but when you skip forward it advances a full 30 seconds. Think about that for a minute. You are watching a recorded football game and you want to replay a highlight. You skip backwards 7 seconds to watch the play and when you hit skip forward you advance 30 seconds causing you to miss sometimes two full plays. WHY WHY WHY? Naturally with Dish N, you skip and forward the exact same short amount of time so it is easy to advance and regress and easy to find yourself. Also, why in Directv can I not create my own list of favorite channels attach a custom name to it and go there with the push of a button like I can in Dish N? Instead I can use the preset filters to avoid all the home shopping networks and the ever-increasing number of misogynist channels. So, Mr. Hart, I agree with you. I could not have chosen a better comparison than the popular PC vs. Mac commercials to demonstrate the obvious shortcomings of one product versus another. Unfortunately, your comparison fails because you think you're watching a Mac and it's really a PC. I will reiterate, there are millions of satisfied Directv users who have no idea what satisfaction really should feel like as their primary basis for comparison was OTA or Cable Television. Directv is light years better than Cable which is like comparing a VCR to a Blu Ray player or Amplitude Modulated Carrier Frequencies to THX Certified Cinema Sound. Do you know there are still people out there who believe cable television is better than satellite because they don't ever have to worry about losing their signal due to a thunderstorm or alien interference? Survey 100 Cable users and nearly all will tell you they are satisfied. Survey 100 former Cable users now using Satellite and nearly all will tell you how dissatisfied they were with Cable. I believe the same applies for Directv vs Dish Network. My advice to Mr. Hart or any Directv users who managed to make it to the end of this review: Go to Steve's house, grab a snack and refreshment, sit on his fluffy couch and turn on his Dish Network and spend about two hours playing with the DVR functions, holding the remote and navigating through the entire television experience... then go home and tell me which system reminds you of that clumsy fat guy in the television commercials. Editor’s Commentary: I have never scored a boxing match, but I imagine Bruce’s reply to be the equivalent of a TKO. I deducted 1-point for "Oshkosh MACintosh". I think he means Oshkosh B’gosh. You may think me biased, since Bruce is my brother, but readers familiar with my work realize that I have never wasted an opportunity to taunt or berate a sibling. On the strength of Bruce’s reviews, my Dish, as in Dish Network, affectionately known as iDish goes in Wednesday. On the advice of reader Andrew Graf, I did not call the company directly, but contacted a local installer, Star Satellite, who will set up my system and be available if I have problems. The phone call was simple almost to the point of old fashioned. I did not have to listen carefully to the following options. I did not have to press 1 or 3 or stay on hold for 17 minutes. Bill, one of Star Satellite’s owners, was able to explain the equipment and programming options and help me tailor the system to my needs. He also told me I needed a telephone jack near the high-definition DVR box. I installed the jack myself for about ten bucks. The wireless phone jack would have cost $55. I am guessing there is a little something in it for Bill, but I bet it will be worth it. Incidentally, Bill mentioned that he installs more Dish than DirecTV systems. He did not say why. I called Charter to cancel my cable service. To minimize hassle I decided to keep my Charter internet and phone. After pressing 5 and holding for about 30 seconds, I got Dave, the customer representative in the Cancel Service arm of the phone menu. He was surprisingly pleasant and helpful, and I complemented him on that. Dave was sympathetic to my straightforward drive-the-market rationale for dumping cable. He made it clear that I was still a valued customer. Score one for Charter. –SL ______________ Nothing But Iron is an amateur sports column. Bruce’s commentary is reprinted without permission, because the older brother doesn’t need permission unless the younger brother threatens to tell Mom, which he would never do because the older brother would hit him until he shut up. ©2008 DrTM Enterprises. All rights reserved.