Nothing But Iron:  Just Grin and Share It by Steven R. Lagman, M.D., C.A.S.W. November 23, 2008 President-elect Obama calls for a playoff in the only college football division that doesn’t have one.  Part of me says that Obama should be too busy to worry about such trivialities, but the other part says, “You go, Pres!”  It may seem insignificant, but it is easier for me to be optimistic about Obama’s judgment after the story broke.  Logic is logic.  You either subscribe or you don’t.  Tom Oates doesn’t think the playoff has a chance, since bowl officials, conference commissioners and college presidents resist it.  My suggestion is to throw every last one of the bastards into GITMO for a couple years and then see what happens. I wanted to write about the Packers win over Chicago on the way home from last Sunday’s game, but the battery in my laptop died, so I had to control my pent-up elation until the next available opportunity, which is right now.  Despite having tickets in hand, I wasn’t even going to go to the game.  I had just returned from a 10-day Arizona-California trip, and another six hours of travel didn’t appeal much.  I posted my club seat tickets on the Packers-Ticketmaster site, which allows season ticket holders to post tickets with guaranteed protection from revocation if some jackass buys them and becomes disruptive in the seats.  The tickets didn’t sell, even though I reduced the price by 50 bucks two different times.  Part of the problem is that either the Packers or Ticketmaster tack on about 40 bucks more (I think).  On top of that they take 10% of the sale price from me too.  That’s a little greedy if you ask me, but nobody did.  In case you are wondering, they are called club seat tickets because owning them means we are in the We Pay Way to Much to Watch Football Club, the value of which fluctuates with the on-field product.  My tickets did not sell, so I reclaimed them and tried to find someone to join me.  Patrick immediately signed up, and a father-son adventure at Lambeau Field was born.  Maybe it would be a good day after all. I arrived wondering if I would have to endure yet another annoying loss to the Bears, whose coach, Lumpy Smith, proclaimed that beating the Packers would be his first and highest order of business.  I knew the Bears had a good run defense and that they had guys who could cause turnovers.  I knew the Packers had problems with penalties and punting.  I knew Rex Grossman had been replaced by a supposedly healthy Kyle Orton, which did not bother me so much, because Grossman looked like a pro-bowler last time I saw him in Green Bay.  I knew it was Chicago, which meant that pre-game paper attributes of either team were hardly worth the paper they were printed on, which is worth a lot less now that the Dow has slumped.  I braced myself for the ensuing battle.  And then the fun began.  And began.  And began.  And began.  And then it was over, and the Packers had lots of points and the Bears had 3.  But I didn’t want it to be over so I listened to the post-game show on the radio.  But that wasn’t enough either so I tuned into AM670, The Score, a Chicago sports station.  I wanted to hear the perspectives of the losers, which, admittedly, sets a bad sportsmanship example for my son, but he was asleep, making it the perfect opportunity for me to be a real ass, but not that bad a parent. I wondered if the Chicago faithful would give credit to the Packers for a game well planned and well played, or if they would attribute the loss to their own team’s ineptitude.  What I heard astounded me.  Never in my days as a sports fan, which include the days when I was a petulant, immature, low-perspective brat of a so-called fan, have I heard such negativity.  Usually radio show hosts have a little perspective and balance (I think the industry refers to it as “professionalism”), but what I heard, more than regret or disappointment, was flat-out loathing by the hosts and just about every caller who called in.  Never, in all my years as a Packers fan, have I hated the Bears as much as their own fans did last Sunday.   One poor soul did try to put an intelligently positive spin on the game, but he was lambasted as some sort of fringe lunatic who didn’t understand sports.  You might have thought the entire team and its coaching staff had killed kittens during their pregame warm up.  It was scary.  Entertaining and addicting, but scary.  I used to think that the only things separating Packers fans and Bears fans were wardrobes and a border on a map, but now that thought is unbearable, no pun intended.  If AM670 was a mirror image of us, I want out now.  Favorite quote:  “We are not tied for first place (in the division); we are tied for third place!” I will share a comment about the game itself:  I absolutely loved the play calling.  Pass on running downs, run on passing downs, a pinch of full back, a pound of run against a team that begs you to throw, zag when you’re supposed to zig, puree when you’re supposed to blend.  It was perfectly unpredictable.  More of that tomorrow night, please.  O.K., just a couple more thoughts:  Bravo to the O-line in both pass and run blocking.  What a difference a week makes.  AJ Hawk looked like a natural in the middle.  A-Rog looks very comfortable when he’s not on his back every other play. Last Saturday I watched the Badgers beat the Gophs.  We got a little nervous when Sota Sota went up by two touchdowns in the first half.  Long time NBI reader Peter Qualey sat with me.  I told him this late in the second quarter:  “As good as they are playing, it’s still Minnesota.”  And so it was.  True to form, the Gophs choked up a maroon fur ball and just like that, we had a game on our hands.  And then we looked dominant, at least as dominant as a team skittish about blowing a lead can be, and I said to Peter:  “As good as we are playing, it’s still Minnesota.”  And it came down to the wire, just as the script indicates it should.  Always fun to beat Minnesota and see the players hoist the ax.  Glad we got them in football, because I hear rumblings that Tubby Smith (possibly related to Lumpy) has something potent brewing in his program.  Like I said before, we know Smith is good, but if he can make a winner at Minnesota, he will prove he is one of the best in his business.  I myself am waiting for some sort of scandal to break.   I finally saw the Badgers basketball team play in a game against Southern Illinois-Insignificant.  Not much of an opponent, but there was little I saw that I did not like.  I was not convinced that this year’s team will win a lot in the Big Ten, but I was not convinced it wouldn’t either.  It seems to be a balanced team and it is blue collar to the core.  I predict a different leading scorer every night.  That night Jon Leuer was fantastic.  He is big, but not stiff.  I can’t imagine he won’t lead Wisconsin’s in scoring from time to time.  I could not watch the first round of Jamo Paradiso, but according to radio guys Mike Heller and Andy North, who filled in for Matt Lepay and Mike Lucas, it was all the refs’ fault.  It is good that the Badgers were able to dig this one out of the dirt in spite of obvious cheating.  Tonight Wisconsin plays SDSU.  It is televised on some obscure Fox station, so I am missing it now.  Our friends and long time Badgers fans, Deb and Al, live on St. Thomas.  Deb sent an e-mail recap telling how much they enjoy this rare opportunity to see that Badgers play. Yeah it was that ugly! And you're right - teams that can win games like that develop a confidence that you can't buy.  The Gaels were really physical and played hard, full court defense almost the whole game. Early on the refs let the teams play (Gaels slapping, grabbing, tripping, etc) and the Badgers playing hard in your face basketball, but not purposely manhandling anybody. But it was obvious that they needed to take control - unfortunately they went crazy after that calling first one team heavy, then the other team. I almost felt sorry for the Gaels late in the 2nd half. They were getting called for things that in the first half were ignored by the refs. I don't think they knew what to do. Our shooting was horrible, Badgers couldn't make a basket (except free throws - thank god for the fouls). They couldn't get inside because of they tried the refs called an offensive foul. Lots of elbows flying around. Yes, the refs were bad - on both sides. We just got the benefit of going to the line a few more times than they did. Second half both teams were in the bonus with 14 minutes to play. The score board only went up to 10 fouls, so after that we lost track of how many each team had.  But the Badgers prevailed! Yeah! I have to tell you it was exciting to watch.Half time was Zulu natives doing voodoo dances and high school steel pan. All the red Paradise Jam T's were gone except weird sizes, and they sold more beer and brats than they have since WI was here last. Back to football . . . I did not attend the Cal-Poly near fiasco, but at least the ratio of drama to dollars spent was high.  It goes to show you that nothing is a given and that Wisconsin is a mediocre football team, which really should not be the crime that people make it out to be.  This game, which I DVR’d but have yet to watch, was a total mind screw from the beginning:  A playoff bound team in Division I Double Logical (Football Championship Subdivision sounds like a real estate development) vs. a bowl-eligible team with glaring weaknesses from a program too successful to lose to the West Coast’s version of Appalachian State.  Fortunately for all of us who like to wear our motion-W shirts and hats without embarrassment the Badgers have a little heart as well.  O.K., who am I kidding?  We were just plain lucky.   Cal-Poly would have deserved the credit for winning and it deserved the credit for losing too. I have to ask myself just how bad Cal-Poly kicker Andrew Gardner must feel today, after an afternoon at the gift wrap table.  I would not wish that experience on any kid or any parents of any kid, even people from Minnesota.  Maybe he will find the strength to perform well in the playoffs—yes, unlike most of the great teams half a division higher, the two-loss Mustangs are still in the hunt for a national title—and lead his team to a memorable ending, but you would almost predict that missing three PAT’s and a field goal in a game that should otherwise have been won would not be a big confidence builder.  Note to parents:  This is why we quit soccer after Patrick played one season for the Magic Taffies in first grade.  We could not stand the thought that our kid would end up a college football kicker. It may be time to talk about Brett Favre again.  I don’t mean in the wishing for what is not sense, but in the sense that successful players are worthy of recognition.  I recently thought that Jets fans needed a primer on watching Favre, because one guy was not going to change the fact that they were the Jets, and therefore destined for their usual post-season void.  I said they should watch Favre, not for the chance he might lead them to the promised land, but for the chance he might periodically do something stunning, perhaps in between win-killing interceptions.  And I was wrong, because now the Jets, with Favre as their leader, beat New England and previously undefeated Tennessee. They look very much like contenders.  Granted, it is early, and deep down inside I don’t care about New York, but I do have to respect what I see happening there. ­­­­­­­­­­­­­________________ Nothing But Iron is an amateur sports column.  The author apologizes to his many, O.K., all three, of his friends who are Bears fans.  The author acknowledges that not all Bears fans are the worst fans in the entire universe and the author commends his Bears friends for their passion, loyalty and uncommon fair mindedness.  The author is somewhat regretful for having bookmarked AM670  in his web browser because that is just not very nice.  NBI is not affiliated with Guantanamo Bay detention camp and receives no financial support from the United States Navy.  Lastly, the author apologizes that university presidents and conference commissioners are complete idiots.  This issue is dedicated to son Connor on his sixteenth (yikes!) birthday.  ©2008 DrTM Enterprises.  All rights reserved.