Nothing But Iron: Fahrenheit’s Insolvency by Steven R. Lagman, M.D., C.A.S.W. February 18, 2006 Chronologically speaking, it’s almost March. We are within weeks of the emergence of crocuses, tulips and daffodils, yet the temperature outside the window of my amateur sportswriting office reads 16 degrees below zero, as if to deliver this message to the precocious plants of springtime: Please hold for the next available warm day. Your viability is important to us. Yeah right. Those of you who live here and to the north of us, know well what 16 below zero means. Others, like my mom, step dad and siblings living where the sun and earth share greater intimacy, will never know, or are at least far enough removed from the concept of Fahrenheit debt that the recollection is an ice cube lost in a glacier of sun-filled memories. I will try to put 16 below into a perspective that even a those who work side-by-side with saguaro cactuses could appreciate. If 16 below were your gas tank, the needle would be an inch below the E, and you would be stranded in the dimly-lit hours of the early morning on a road that was all-but deserted, save for a couple suspicious-looking characters watching you from their rusty, unmarked van. If 16 below were money, you would be writing stolen checks on insufficient funds to pay the overdue minimum monthly payment on several credit cards, whose cash advances were spent on gambling debts. If 16 below were blood, you would need an immediate life-saving transfusion, only to find out you have the rare blood type, BS-negative, and a unit is on its way from Indonesia by Red Cross sailboat. In other words, 16 below is extreme. It is so extreme that it would be inadvisable, due to the extreme discomfort of doing so, to walk barefoot to the mailbox, especially if one were to do that just so one could take pictures of the footprint and write about it in a sports column that is sometimes about the weather too. Not that I would necessarily avoid walking barefoot to the mailbox in that way under these conditions, because the mail must be retrieved, and one cannot always locate one’s shoes (and the socks alone would get wet), but I think many people would avoid what I just did, and yes, it was uncomfortable, but probably definitely worth it. Speaking of warmth–how’s that for a lame segue–the Badgers seem to have emerged from what some people thought was a mid-winter’s hibernation, and what others, like Bo Ryan, knew to be the simple ups and downs of a basketball season. The win over Ohio State was the best win of the year so far. I say that because Ohio State is the best team the Badgers have played so far. Wisconsin was fortunate to be faced with only a 9-point deficit after a shaky first half, despite the fact that Terence Dials went to the bench with two fouls. For much of the second half, every UW threat was answered in kind. A three with a three, a steal with steal and 6-0 run with a 6-0 run. Not until very late did the Badgers manage to impose their will on the Buckeyes, who have it all–solid defense, scary post presence, lights-out perimeter shooting and a high team free-throw percentage. Defining moment: Dials receives a perfect lob, pivots to make the easy shot, only to find Alando Tucker there to stuff him like an artichoke. While it is impossible to ignore Tucker’s offensive impact, his recent commitment to defense and rebounding is the elixir that has given the Badgers new life. The only team playing better basketball than Ohio State is Iowa. That’s the same Iowa that, at the beginning of the year, was picked by experts to finish somewhere in the Big Ten. I don’t have to admit that I did not think Steve Alford had a Big Ten Championship in him, but I will. I didn’t think, based my opinion of his and Bob Knight’s coaching philosophies, that he deserved one, and while he may still not deserve one, it may happen anyway. Either his players are winning in spite of him or Alford has changed the less-than-nurturing (some have said abusive) style that for awhile made Iowa City the revolving door of Big Ten recruiting. And get this: If the cards keep falling the way they have for the Hawkeyes, Alford would be a lock for Big Ten Coach of the Year. Go f----n figure.  Regardless of Iowa’s why, you have to respect its what, and the magnitude of the challenge of playing in an arena packed with Hawkeyes fans who actually care on the last game of the season, even if you don’t respect the quality of the security guards hired to keep fans off the Carver-Hawkeye hardwood after big wins. If the Hawks beat the Badgers on March 4, university officials had better surround the goal posts at either end of the newly renovated Hayden Fry Field with razor wire and a couple hundred armed National Guardsmen, otherwise those are coming down not long after the C-H nets are cut and the rims and backboards are hack-sawed into souvenir-sized pieces by the jubilant throng. Iowa plays today at Minnesota, which is manageable, but rarely easy. A week later the Hawkeyes travel to Illinois, before finishing up with two home games, the last of which is against the Badgers. It is likely that this could be a key game for at least one team, and possible, for the first time in as long as I can remember, a key game for both. Wisconsin, after its win on Wednesday, has eight days off, followed by four games in the next nine days. Three of these games are on the road. It won’t being easy to stay in contention during that stretch, but it’s not suppose to be easy. The big picture assessment is this: After a disappointing mid-season stretch, when many of us had visions of NIT glory, we find our team in position to win or share the title with just four games left. Not only that, but, to resurrect a cliche that we have all come to know and hate, UW controls its own destiny. If you’re not impressed with that position, I consider you to be in that group of fans classified as not too bright. Prediction (sort of): If Wisconsin wins a share of the title, it will do so on the strength of its defense. Observation: Six Big Ten teams, with Michigan (6-5) needing the most help from other teams, are still in position to win the conference. Observation: Wake Forest, which beat the Badgers by three points in November, is 1-10 in the ACC. Ouch. _____________ Nothing But Iron is an amateur sports column written for the entertainment of people wishing to be entertained without the burden of excessive financial hardship. The author, known for his use of dashes in place of actual letters, is an avid fisherman, on whose door often hangs a painted sign with the words, "Gone F----n". What the fish did you think it meant? © 2006 DrTM Enterprises. All rights reserved.