Nothing But Iron: Titanicology by Steven R. Lagman, M.D., A.N.S.W. October 12, 2004 O.K., I lied about being too busy to write about the Packers. This defining performance begs for commentary, or at least comic relief. I should probably open with a prayer, but will instead open with a prediction: That was the last game the Packers will lose this season. Yeah, I know a 12-4 finish is improbable, as is the ensuing NFC championship and improbable Super Bowl victory, but what do I have to gain by predicting the obvious? I could have been at Lambeau Field last night, but thanks to my sister-in-law, Erin, who is building a house in Appleton, I lost that chance. Erin needed (my wife) Kelly’s help to pick out light fixtures, so Kelly, who was planning to drive up anyway on Tuesday, got the Packers tickets as part of the package. I stayed home with the kids. Remind me to send Erin a nice fruit basket or a bouquet of light fixtures for sparing me the proximity to the carnage. Here is a review of Green Bay’s first half defensive highlights: 1) false start, No. 84 offense, five yard penalty . . . 2) personal foul, chop block No. 84, offense, 15 yard penalty . . . 3) holding, offense, No. 77, ten yard penalty . . . That Tennessee reached the end zone in spite of what should have been a debilitating set of penalties–err, thrilling defensive highlights, would have been more shocking had it not been the Titan’s fourth score of the first half. The next defensive highlight came when Al Harris was not called for obvious pass interference. By that point, the shock was beginning to wear off as numbness set in. Today’s understatement: The Packers have tackling issues. To be fair, the tackling issues are no worse than the pass coverage issues, which are no worse than the turnover issues or the run blocking issues. On the positive side of the ledger, Ryan Longwell and Craig Nall played solid games and the field appeared to be in good condition. At this time, it should be mentioned that these are observations and not criticisms, given that, as a 5-10, 155-pound amateur sportswriter, I could have done no better.  More importantly, I would never ever ever ever in a zillion dark years boo my own team. That is a sin. After this loss, which was not a whole lot more painful than gall bladder surgery under whiskey-bullet anesthesia, you might wonder what it is that will motivate me to use one of my season tickets to attend the Packers-Vikings game on November 14. Surely I’ll have fleeting regrets about the return on my substantial investment, but I will have my reasons. First of all, its the Vikings. Even when invincible, they are fallible. Daunte Culpepper is no Steve McNair, and Michael Bennett is no Jim Brown–I mean that other guy Brown, soon to be the new best running back in the history of the NFL alongside Tikki Barber and Thomas Jones. Second, home-field advantage. It could return at any moment. I want to be there when it does. Third, I want to see if loyal Packers fans really boo their team, or if the sound I heard on my TV was a flock of 10 million owls roosting atop the press box. Fourth, Super Bowl XXXI. Yes, the Packers won the Super Bowl in my adult lifetime. They didn’t have to do that, but they did, and it made me very happy.  Lastly, I will go for Brett Favre, the greatest Packer to ever play the game. ____________ Nothing But Iron is an amateur sports column–amateur at least until numerous corporate giants (titans) start advertising on my soon-to-be-lucrative, soon-to- be-cluttered web site, hint, hint. ©2004 DrTM Enterprises. All rights reserved. Your banner ad here (where it can be seen by dozens).